Like You....We Put Kids First: HOW TO BE POPULAR

Most teenagers would like to be popular if they could. But many are baffled as to just what it takes to achieve popularity, or even to get a date. Knowing that is generally considered attractive to the opposite sex helps. Also understanding what boys expect of girls and what girls expect of boys in a given community is especially important.

In general young people like members of the other sex who are (1) careful of their personal appearance; (2) courteous and thoughtful; and (3) fun to be with.

A girl doesn’t have to be a beauty to get a date. She just has to dress appropriately, be neat and well groomed, and then try to forget her appearance. The same goes for a boy. If he’s clean and neat (hair combed, fresh shirt, nails clean) he’s acceptable, and probably attractive to someone.

Courtesy is mentioned frequently by both boys and girls as a desirable quality in a date. Actually, being courteous is just being thoughtful of others; it’s easy to get the habit. Sometimes a young person grows up in a family that is careless or casual about little courtesies, and he has to learn not to speak when someone else is talking, not to talk with a mouth full of food. If you keep your voice low and pleasant, say “Thank you” and “Excuse me” at appropriate times, it makes a pleasant impression on new and old friends. Some schools have special courses in social arts where students get opportunities for practicing those graces that make getting along with others easy.

Books, articles, and lectures also help to give boys and girls an idea of what kind of behavior is expected of them when they begin to have dates.

When you say “Ted is such fun to be with!” Do you know why? Do you realize it takes practice to become a “fun person”? It involves some rather complicated skills—knowing how to carry on a conversation, knowing how to enter a group pleasantly, being able to accept and refuse invitations graciously, assuming responsibility for one’s part in the group activity, and generally making others glad that you’re there. Most boys and girls are awkward in group situations at first. But as they gain experience, first in simple situations with others who know and like them, they get over being self-conscious. Soon they become so poised that they feel at home in most social situations. But this takes time and experience —lots of it.

It is no accident that boys and girls who have belonged to clubs and organizations get along more easily with people than do those who have grown-up somewhat isolated. Being a member of a group not only gives you experience in planning and making decisions with others, in carrying responsibility for your part in a project, but it also introduces you to a variety of human situations and human beings. You begin to learn how the next guy “ticks.”

If you want to be more acceptable to the other sex, then you ought to get into group activities with other young people of both sexes. Mingling with a mixed group will ready you for dating and develop those skills which will help you carry off a date successfully.

Look for upcoming blogs that deal with teen dating, as well as wonderful books your teen will enjoy to enhance their dating experience. Click here to order your eBook on Teen Dating and receive a free eBook on Teen Weight Loss.You can also order other books on parenting and teen problems and solutions on this site as well.

For Our Kids Parenting and Co-Parenting Services understand your concerns. Our teen parenting class will provide you with the knowledge, tools and skills needed to parent effectively. You will receive parenting tips on dealing with angry and troubled teens, teens dealing with stress and depression, as well as other issues facing our teens. We also provide great resources on parenting books and referrals, as well as lessons on how to co-parent, your teen when living separated from the other co-parent.

Whether court ordered, or in need of basic parenting skills, this class is for you. Call to register now at 1- (757) 327-0481. We will be happy to assist you through both education and life experiences. Email us at: forourkids1st@aol.com. Visit our blog at: http://forourkids1st.blogspot.com. Need some one on one training? Chat with me at: http://imlive.com/waitingroom1ms.asp?hostnick=AskLinda

About.com Teen

Your teen will need privacy. As parents, we are not very comfortable not knowing what is going on in our child’s life. But as your teen starts to date, you will need to take a step back and not try to know ‘everything’.

See our quiz, Are You Sabotaging Your Teen's Social Life? You may at first have a hard time and feel like something is wrong. That is normal – your parenting role is changing. Change always feels awkward at first. On the other hand, your teenager may want to chat about the experience. He/she may have some questions to ask. If so, make yourself available. But remember to try not to ‘read into’ any of the questions and begin prying.

Communication Tips

You can’t accomplish anything if no one is listening. Communication is the cornerstone for a positive relationship with your teens. Here are a few tips to start opening the lines of communication.

• Build Trust– When you give your opinion or ask your teen questions their first reaction is you don’t trust them.

Build trust early. Show trust by giving them some age appropriate freedoms. However, make it clear that if the trust is broken, freedoms will be taken away until the trust is rebuilt.

• Practice Honesty- At this age, adolescents develop their thinking skills. They are very aware of what you say and are sensitive to consistency.

If you say something and do another, they will recognize your actions as two faced. By being dishonest you will lose their respect and your ability to lead.

Every Day Parenting Tips

The first step is opening the lines of communication. Once that is accomplished, you should be better equipped to deal with the everyday issues that arise. Here are a few tips to build a positive framework.
• Encourage Activities for Personal Growth- Teens maintain a better attitude when they participate in activities allowing for personal expression. Extra curricula activities like art programs, sports or band help teens find value in themselves. Evidence has also shown teens who participate in community service engage in less risky behaviors and receive higher grades.
• Allow Teens to Have a Part- time Job It will teach them important skills for the future such as accountability, time and money management, the ability to communicate effectively and be on time.
• Build a Close Relationship– Remember, communication is key. Teens are persuaded by the people they spend time with the most. By spending time, parents contribute the most powerful impact on a child’s attitude, behavior and life approach. Form close bonds by making family dinners a time to connect. Talk to your teen about issues that are important to them such as school or their friends. Resist the urge to be a know-it-all. Instead, actively listen to their opinions and reflect what they are saying back to them so they are aware you value their thoughts. Teens with a close bond to their parents are proven to do better academically and engage in less destructive behavior.

HOW TO BE POPULAR

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