Like You....We Put Kids First: PROVE IT TO YOUR PARENTS

Many a girl comes home with stars in her eyes at having been asked out by a boy, only to find her parents objecting on the grounds that she is still too young to date. And often a boy wants to take a girl out, but his mother or father insists that he give his full attention to his studies, saying, “There’s plenty of time later for playing around with girls.”

How can parents be convinced that you are ready for dates? This is a question that is asked by young people all over the country. Sometimes, of course, the parents are right, and their son or daughter is too immature to date. Actually it is up to you to prove that you’re ready to go out by proving that you’re grown-up. How do you do that? By taking real responsibility around the house; by helping with chores such as car-washing, cleaning, lawn-mowing; by showing an understanding and concern for your family’s problems and budget; by doing your school job well. Maybe you’ll also have to help your parents understand current dating habits in your community, so that they develop confidences in the social situations open to teen-agers. It helps to encourage mothers and fathers to go to parents’ meetings, to attend neighborhood affairs, and to keep up to date on school and social events. Do you let your folks in on your activities?

confidences in the social situations open to teen-agers. It helps to encourage mothers and fathers to go to parents’ meetings, to attend neighborhood affairs, and to keep up to date on school and social events. Do you let your folks in on your activities?

Many adults and some young people too, frequently ask if reading books on dating and talking about dating problems actually help. There’s no question about it—the more you learn about dating, the better. The fear that such guidance will “give young people ideas beyond their years” is groundless. Actually, if they did not have the ideas, they wouldn’t find such reading of interest. Getting perspective on how other people feel, finding out what is generally expected of you on a date, becoming aware of the many ways you can approach the problem of getting along with others, and coming to terms with your unique answer to life’s questions about men and women—all are facilitated by good reading and good discussions of dating, love, and marriage.

Furthermore, books about dating usually point up the fact that all the haunting questions, confusions, and problems that so baffle and hurt are common to most young people. It’s encouraging to know that one is not alone—that others are shy, others are clumsy. Reading from a printed page about a poignant experience that you thought was yours alone lessens your sense of loneliness and isolation, makes you feel close to others again.

Of course, there is literature designed to be sexually stimulating rather than thought-provoking. Some jokes and talk are sexy and cheap too. But it’s easy to differentiate.

That discussion is worthwhile if it aims at “growing you up” into the kind of person you want to become. You’ll usually find it with other like-minded people, under a wise leader, in school, church group, or informal club, or even among close friends who bring out the best in each other.

Look for upcoming blogs that deal with teen dating, as well as wonderful books your teen will enjoy to enhance their dating experience. Click here to order your eBook on Teen Dating and receive a free eBook on Teen Weight Loss.You can also order other books on parenting and teen problems and solutions on this site as well.

For Our Kids Parenting and Co-Parenting Services understand your concerns. Our teen parenting class will provide you with the knowledge, tools and skills needed to parent effectively. You will receive parenting tips on dealing with angry and troubled teens, teens dealing with stress and depression, as well as other issues facing our teens. We also provide great resources on parenting books and referrals, as well as lessons on how to co-parent, your teen when living separated from the other co-parent.

Whether court ordered, or in need of basic parenting skills, this class is for you. Call to register now at 1- (757) 327-0481. We will be happy to assist you through both education and life experiences. Email us at: forourkids1st@aol.com. Visit our blog at: http://forourkids1st.blogspot.com. Need some one on one training? Chat with me at: http://imlive.com/waitingroom1ms.asp?hostnick=AskLinda

About.com Teen

Your teen will need privacy. As parents, we are not very comfortable not knowing what is going on in our child’s life. But as your teen starts to date, you will need to take a step back and not try to know ‘everything’.

See our quiz, Are You Sabotaging Your Teen's Social Life? You may at first have a hard time and feel like something is wrong. That is normal – your parenting role is changing. Change always feels awkward at first. On the other hand, your teenager may want to chat about the experience. He/she may have some questions to ask. If so, make yourself available. But remember to try not to ‘read into’ any of the questions and begin prying.

Communication Tips

You can’t accomplish anything if no one is listening. Communication is the cornerstone for a positive relationship with your teens. Here are a few tips to start opening the lines of communication.

• Build Trust– When you give your opinion or ask your teen questions their first reaction is you don’t trust them.

Build trust early. Show trust by giving them some age appropriate freedoms. However, make it clear that if the trust is broken, freedoms will be taken away until the trust is rebuilt.

• Practice Honesty- At this age, adolescents develop their thinking skills. They are very aware of what you say and are sensitive to consistency.

If you say something and do another, they will recognize your actions as two faced. By being dishonest you will lose their respect and your ability to lead.

Every Day Parenting Tips

The first step is opening the lines of communication. Once that is accomplished, you should be better equipped to deal with the everyday issues that arise. Here are a few tips to build a positive framework.
• Encourage Activities for Personal Growth- Teens maintain a better attitude when they participate in activities allowing for personal expression. Extra curricula activities like art programs, sports or band help teens find value in themselves. Evidence has also shown teens who participate in community service engage in less risky behaviors and receive higher grades.
• Allow Teens to Have a Part- time Job It will teach them important skills for the future such as accountability, time and money management, the ability to communicate effectively and be on time.
• Build a Close Relationship– Remember, communication is key. Teens are persuaded by the people they spend time with the most. By spending time, parents contribute the most powerful impact on a child’s attitude, behavior and life approach. Form close bonds by making family dinners a time to connect. Talk to your teen about issues that are important to them such as school or their friends. Resist the urge to be a know-it-all. Instead, actively listen to their opinions and reflect what they are saying back to them so they are aware you value their thoughts. Teens with a close bond to their parents are proven to do better academically and engage in less destructive behavior.

PROVE IT TO YOUR PARENTS

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